Paintball!! :D

Me man at paintball! Look at the muscles and pose..

Watch him run! *swoons* ;p

Happy anniversary!

Hehe I know I'd just posted a monthsary not too long ago, but this time it marks 6mths; half a year! It's quite an achievement you know, the poor boy has had to put up with my whining and petty tantrums for all these months :p So I decided to reward him with a home-made treat of rice balls and konnyaku jelly :) What was supposed to be a nice picnic in the Botanical Gardens was foiled by the rain! In the end, we had to settle for an indoors picnic! It's ok, 'cuz we still have many more chances to come ;) On the menu were chilli tuna rice balls & my special mushroom rice balls (actually it was my first attempt, and something i just conjured up myself since we both love fungi so much :p ) with seaweed, and finally some ham, baby sweet corn and cucumber thrown in for extra nutrition :) As you can see, they are not pretty bentos. FAILed attempt at being a Japanese housewife haha. Am working towards being a Japanese taitai ok! Now, I don't profess to be a super cook, but I must say it turned out quite good! :p And anything I cook for him at this stage is prolly yummy too, mwhahahaha.

In this 6 month journey so far, we've celebrated Christmas together..

Monkeyed around alot..and yes, he is carrying me and still able to run around! Never in my dreams would I have imagined dating a guy strong enough to carry me like that! :p


Had fun cooking together and learning about each others' culture..and no Dear, this is not pottery!

Had "fun", mostly with him being my subject of torture.. Mwhahaaha.But hey, even he admits his nose is much smoother and cleaner as a result of my masks ok? ;p

And of course, spending lots of money on hot dinner dates and flowers for the lady! :p :p This was the first bouquet of flowers from him, for my birthday this year :) But I really do love the occasional surprises of flowers on my table too ;)Hehe btw the boy was shy to carry it around so gave them to me in a big paper bag!

And of course, taking loads of pictures. Hehe he thinks (and methinks) I've taken more pictures of him than he'd taken in his 25 years of life in Brazil! But given this handsome face, how could one resist? ;)Hurhur, and never would I have imagined being able to meet and date such a handsome fella! ;p

I must've done something right somewhere along, to deserve such love.

XOXO~

Looking ahead with trepidation

Gosh there are sooo many things on my mind these days. Gotta think about how I'm gonna complete my PhD in time, given that things are not working so well :( And if i don't finish by end of this year, which will prolly be the case, i gotta think of how I'm gonna support myself for the many months that I'll be without a stipend! :s And, then even after that, what's next?? Do i continue in this field of marine research? Knowing me, i like to stay in my comfort zone so am most likely to do that, even though I'd had dreams of joining marine expeditions just for the experience, and then maybe doing internships. But i realized I'm already turning 28 soon!! And then the big 3-0 will come very soon. Oh. My. Gosh. But I'm so tired, just wanna take a long holiday. Haha.. go backpacking around the world (ok, well i obviously have to scale down my world tour due to financial constraints). Or should i just get a boring 9-5 office job? But, one thing i really wanna do is to live overseas for a while. Just for the life experience, and perhaps find someplace else that i love. And also just to move far far away from my mother!! If you'd read the previous posts, you might know why. But all this depends on whether or not i can find a job overseas too. Post-doc seems the most likely. But who's gonna hire me for not having any publications to my name yet?? :( Better buck up already! And it gets more complicated now that I've D in my life, cuz we'd need to move to the same place. Howwww??? What if i can't find a job where he gets a scholarship to do his PhD? Sigh. An adult's life is so stressful! I can't wait to move on to the next phase of my life though. 頑張って！

Ah and then I'm also toying with the idea of moving out on my own this July, because after the most recent episode with my mother, i really feel that it's time for me to move on and out. I know she will be angry (again, what else is new?). But what can i do? Not that i want to waste the money, but it seems i have no choice if i wanna preserve my sanity :(

Tough choice!

Yours truly has been lured by the attractive bait offered in a local photo contest organized by NParks :p My chances are very slim given that I have to join the open category, but I decided there's no harm in trying since the prizes are so good! ;p I can't decide which 4 pictures to submit, so am posting them here in hopes that you can give me your opinions! Thanks in advance!






Check out the website if you're interested too ;)
http://www.nparks.gov.sg/cms/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=187&Itemid=167

Happy 5th month anniversary

I'm such a hopeless girlfriend, and he's such a hopeless romantic! Usually one would expect the girl to remember anniversaries and such, but in our case it's the reverse. It seems work and family issues have made me so worn out that I'm no longer the sweet girl who'd love to hand-make gifts and cards for my beloved friends. Friend's wedding? Sure, make a cross-stitch more than 6 months in advance. Friend's birthday? Yup, make a card and send it few thousand miles away, and have it reach on time. Christmas round the corner? Ooh let's make personalized gifts for everyone in the lab! Haa.. gone are those days man.. How sad! I yearn for the day when I'd have such mood to do these things again.

ANYWAY, back to the topic of 5th month anniversary.. So yea, he had to remind me of it while I'd completely forgotten! :p Such a sweetheart. But alas we did not manage to have a good celebration... See, first of all, us 2 pathetic souls are still recovering from a nasty flu. Check out the bags of antibiotics and other medicines, one for him and one for me:
And to make it worse, we were violated by a peeping tom!!!! :S First time in my life. Got a real shock when we discovered someone hiding in the bushes, and was prolly there watching us for a whole 10 minutes before we discovered him :(( Totally spoilt our mood after that because it's beyond us why people would do such stupid things...

离家出走。

It'd crossed my mind several times before in my life, but never had I the guts to do it. For the first time in my almost 27 years on this planet, I actually really left home in a fit of anger. Well, it wasn't as dramatic as leaving for good, but I'd planned to leave for at least the weekend. Since she doesn't welcome me in her house, she doesn't want me in her house. It still stings when I think about it :(

It's just a jumbled mess in my mind now. There is so much in my mind, but they have all been thrown into chaos. As I write this, I am still contemplating if I should go back to what people call my "home". "Home", as they call it, is a 5-room HDB flat which I've been living in for more than 10 years. "Home" as they call it, has long become more of a hotel for me, for I often leave home in the morning before she wakes up, and return around midnight. And now "home", has been reduced to a mere empty shell without its operculum.. Cold, empty.

The recent episode which finally triggered my leaving.. I caught a flu from Diego, and she was angry that I let myself catch the flu from him. She was upset that he came over too often as we'd wanted to accompany each other through our illness. Why? Because she needs her "private time". When I'm at home nursing my flu all day, I deprive her of her "personal space" and "private time". Because she cannot watch her Oprah, Ellen or Rachel Ray on TV in comfort when I'm at home. Because she cannot blast the radio all day long when I'm at home. When I return home at 9+, 10 pm, she blames me for coming home too early and interrupting her mopping the floor. Gosh aren't I welcomed and loved?

It's not just this. It's been going on for so long. Nothing I do is ever "right" to her. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her standards.

How did it become to this? And how can I get out of this? I only know how to run away. Offers from 3 lovely friends for me to bunk in with them? Tempting. But I can't impose on my friends forever. Consider moving out on my own? Rental is expensive. I'm already planning for a semester without stipend. Diego wanting me to share a room with him? Even more tempting, given that he'll pay the bulk of the rental.. Decisions decisions.. I wish I knew what to do. I need guts. Perhaps the next time she pushes me to the edge again, then my guts will really tell me what to do..

The Unbelievable

Was just listening to a string of Beyonce's songs today and came across the song "Halo". Prolly listened to it many times, but never really paid attention to the lyrics. For the first time i did, and felt it struck a chord.. (some excerpts)

"Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

...

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

...
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo...

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light"

Yours truly has never felt so loved before! The unbelievable has happened to me. Still can't believe how this could've happened.