Gosh there are sooo many things on my mind these days. Gotta think about how I'm gonna complete my PhD in time, given that things are not working so well :( And if i don't finish by end of this year, which will prolly be the case, i gotta think of how I'm gonna support myself for the many months that I'll be without a stipend! :s And, then even after that, what's next?? Do i continue in this field of marine research? Knowing me, i like to stay in my comfort zone so am most likely to do that, even though I'd had dreams of joining marine expeditions just for the experience, and then maybe doing internships. But i realized I'm already turning 28 soon!! And then the big 3-0 will come very soon. Oh. My. Gosh. But I'm so tired, just wanna take a long holiday. Haha.. go backpacking around the world (ok, well i obviously have to scale down my world tour due to financial constraints). Or should i just get a boring 9-5 office job? But, one thing i really wanna do is to live overseas for a while. Just for the life experience, and perhaps find someplace else that i love. And also just to move far far away from my mother!! If you'd read the previous posts, you might know why. But all this depends on whether or not i can find a job overseas too. Post-doc seems the most likely. But who's gonna hire me for not having any publications to my name yet?? :( Better buck up already! And it gets more complicated now that I've D in my life, cuz we'd need to move to the same place. Howwww??? What if i can't find a job where he gets a scholarship to do his PhD? Sigh. An adult's life is so stressful! I can't wait to move on to the next phase of my life though. 頑張って！
Ah and then I'm also toying with the idea of moving out on my own this July, because after the most recent episode with my mother, i really feel that it's time for me to move on and out. I know she will be angry (again, what else is new?). But what can i do? Not that i want to waste the money, but it seems i have no choice if i wanna preserve my sanity :(
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