The Unbelievable

Was just listening to a string of Beyonce's songs today and came across the song "Halo". Prolly listened to it many times, but never really paid attention to the lyrics. For the first time i did, and felt it struck a chord.. (some excerpts)

"Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

...

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

...
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo...

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light"

Yours truly has never felt so loved before! The unbelievable has happened to me. Still can't believe how this could've happened.

PCRs are back again!

Was pretty depressed the past weeks cuz after a few months' hiatus from PCR-ing, they suddenly did not work! :( But yesterday, i got like at least 50% of them working well again! Since this is a duplex reaction i am trying, sometimes one reaction just doesn't work as well. But those that work, are looking good! Check out the gorgeous gel in the last panel at the bottom!! :D If only all gels looked like that, or better! Haha greedy pig. But whew, these 96 PCRs took more than 1.5h to set up, and another 1.5h to run the gel for!!
Doesn't seem like there is any genetic variation though.. :s

Not cut out for this.

There has been a recent flurry of publications from friends and colleagues all around me! Of course, I'm proud of them for their achievements, and honoured to know them. But it's really starting to make me feel inadequate, especially when even my experiments are not going smoothly :( Been at my microsat work for ages yet I am still troubleshooting, and unsure of my sampling method :( :( Yet it seems people all around are publishing on these damn microsats. It's prolly just me :(

And then I find this paper from 2007 on larval rearing which documents their changes in vertical distribution!! Same idea as my other set of experiments but seems to be conducted in a much more realistic manner. Oh gosh I am so screwed. 2007!! Why didn't I come across this paper in my literature search? How is any of my work of relevance, or going to be publishable...? :'(

I feel so useless. :(

Day 3 - slight frustration

When you haven't really got to chat with him the day after he'd arrived (i.e. the day you should theoretically get to chat with him online again) due to several missed chances, it kinda gets frustrating. When you're online, he's not. And when you decide to leave for a jog, he comes online and leaves you an offline message. Always missing him by 1h, it seems :( It makes me realize how I always took it for granted that he's always online, around in the department, AND in the same time zone (I know this sounds ridiculous but it's a valid point ok!!) where one can easily catch him online!

Now that I'm bored and missing him but can't get to him, I think I'll tell some stories about him haha (maybe hope that he forgets about and doesn't read this blog) - First impressions! PS: Not for the faint-hearted

This was partly inspired by my stumbling upon this website the other day: http://nusbiodiversity.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/new-ra-in-town/
And I thought, I'd seen this post before! Oh this heart-melting smile ;) Hehe, but at that time, it was just "Oh, another ang moh in the department" *promptly moves to surf the next blog, haha.

OMG he is finally online! Till next time~ :D

First day of countdown

The day started out pretty well, and I felt pretty happy with myself for being able to cope with your absence. No calls yet, but finally an email, then another :) I know I'm so eager to hear from you, but when you finally call, I seem rather nonchalant! Cool as a cucumber. But after we hang up, I start to miss you more. I'm weird like that. As the day progresses, it just gets worse :( Oh no and it's only day 1! Let's see how well I can take it. Wish it were December already. (Oh yea the weather sure does feel like winter in SG but unfortunately it's not!)

Come back soon! I miss your smile.

Food for thought

Would you ever patronize a prostitute? This question goes out to all the guys out there. This is something which has always bugged me - How do guys without a willing partner manage their sex drive? Would they resort to paid sex?

I posed this question to a (young) wise man yesterday, and he gave the most beautiful answer I'd ever heard. He'd like to bring her out and treat her to a nice dinner. Simply because he respects her as a woman. *swoon* I know it sounds too good to be true. But my heart tells me this came from the bottom of this man's heart =) No doubt a lustful one (haha!!), but a sincere one =) Really makes one feel there is finally hope for the male species!

For the First Time

For the first time i sat by the riverside and had a long, leisurely chat with a friend.

For the first time, i felt so at ease and comforted to have you by my side.

For the first time, i thought i felt my heart thump because of you.

Is this my destiny? Just yesterday till this morning, i was quite determined to be hard-hearted and ask to to go away, never to return. But your honesty, sincerity has somehow moved me. :)

Will there be a next time?