First day of countdown

The day started out pretty well, and I felt pretty happy with myself for being able to cope with your absence. No calls yet, but finally an email, then another :) I know I'm so eager to hear from you, but when you finally call, I seem rather nonchalant! Cool as a cucumber. But after we hang up, I start to miss you more. I'm weird like that. As the day progresses, it just gets worse :( Oh no and it's only day 1! Let's see how well I can take it. Wish it were December already. (Oh yea the weather sure does feel like winter in SG but unfortunately it's not!)

Come back soon! I miss your smile.

Food for thought

Would you ever patronize a prostitute? This question goes out to all the guys out there. This is something which has always bugged me - How do guys without a willing partner manage their sex drive? Would they resort to paid sex?

I posed this question to a (young) wise man yesterday, and he gave the most beautiful answer I'd ever heard. He'd like to bring her out and treat her to a nice dinner. Simply because he respects her as a woman. *swoon* I know it sounds too good to be true. But my heart tells me this came from the bottom of this man's heart =) No doubt a lustful one (haha!!), but a sincere one =) Really makes one feel there is finally hope for the male species!

For the First Time

For the first time i sat by the riverside and had a long, leisurely chat with a friend.

For the first time, i felt so at ease and comforted to have you by my side.

For the first time, i thought i felt my heart thump because of you.

Is this my destiny? Just yesterday till this morning, i was quite determined to be hard-hearted and ask to to go away, never to return. But your honesty, sincerity has somehow moved me. :)

Will there be a next time?

The Guilt Trap

So they say, "You can choose ur friends, but not ur family." How very true. I wish it were not the case though :( The family's totally screwed up and how i wish i could just leave and abandon it all...

7pm: i get a few missed calls while in lecture from my dad, who's presumably somewhere in China. But i couldn't pick up. Then comes the sms that reads "HUEY IS IN SGP. SHE NEED SOME MONEY PL CALL HER AT 9353..." She really baffles me. How can one come back without prior notice, without any hello, coming through a 3rd person to get money from you? And you send her an sms to ask about her situation, no reply.
12mn: Yet another call from the 3rd person, asking YOU to call HER cuz SHE needs money.

I just cannot deal with this crap anymore. Really don't know how my bro coped with this kinda shit.

:(

Wants to crawl into a giant clam shell and close it shut.

Wants to climb up the highest mountain and scream out lungs.

Wants to go to the far corners of the Earth where no one knows me.

Wishes i was never born.

Another load off my chest

I finally did it. Not sure if things have been totally resolved, but I feel things should get better from now. The relationship between my supervisor and I have become so strained in the last year, so much so that I feel so stifled and super depressed. Always hiding from him, (very) often cursing him. Every time after talking to him I'd need to cry :( And so it happened again yesterday, but thankfully I went to seek help, and under the advice of dear Denise (thanks babe *muacks*) I mustered up enough courage to talk to him again. This time about the issues between us, and to let him know my concerns, my insecurities. Also to apologize to him for giving him such a rough time as a supervisor. Brave me, no? ="= Haha but of course this was between tears :p I think he took it pretty well, and kinda appreciated the gesture. Pray for me that it will get better!

Graduation Mania!

Yesterday was the commencement ceremony of many of my friends-the hons kids, and also several grad students as well!! Started off with some crazy picture taking frenzy in the lab, then some more after their ceremony. Am gonna miss u all! Especially all my 'kids', as i dearly call them..

Some crazy photos with dear Nicky (a very sweet boy, no doubt) who i really miss having around:
And then there's my sweetheart, Pammie :) Thanks for being my ISFJ!
And then Zee! Glad we kinda made up after the spawning fiasco.. :p
A very happening graduation event, cuz so many of them are graduating!! Especially so cuz the BioD group is small and are very close :) Wish I had such a fun and cosy graduation!!

Sigh, this is my 3rd batch of honours students already! Every year they come and go, breaking my heart each time! Perhaps i shouldn't get too close to them eh? :p